Hello Girls! What kind of friend are you?
Friendships are some of the most important relationships that we have in our lives. Healthy friendships can be fun and fulfilling. They are full of trust and respect. True friendships take work and require honesty.
Some friendships can be toxic and unhealthy. They are usually made up of distrust and have a lack of respect. Unfortunately, most people learn they have an unhealthy friendship the hard way. They are sometimes betrayed by their “friend” or left with no support during a time of need.
We can’t control what other people do, but we can control ourselves. So, what kind of friend are you? Think about all of your friendships. Are they different from one another? Why?
Take this quiz from Nancy Rue’s book Girl Politics to get an idea of the type of friend that you are. Try to be honest with your answers. I took the quiz (while thinking of different friends) and learned a lot about why some of my friendships feel better than others.
(This quiz can also be found at faithgirlz.com.)
1. I’m honest with my friend…
a. no matter what
b. unless she might think I’m lame
c. unless I know she’ll get mad at me
d. when she’s clueless
2. When my friend and I have problems, I…
a. always talk to her about them
b. figure it’s probably my fault and try to fix myself
c. don’t bring it up because she might not be my friend anymore
d. tell other people what she’s doing that I can’t stand
3. When my friend and I are WAY getting along, I…
a. tell her how cool she is
b. smile to myself and hope it keeps up
c. don’t say anything because I might jinx it
d. Tell her this is the way it has to be all the time or I’m out of there
4. When my friend has something to tell me, I…
a. listen the way she listens to me
b. think about what I’m going to say when she’s through that’s just as cool
c. don’t say anything while she’s talking, because she’d cut me off anyway
d. listen until it starts driving me nuts
5. When my friend is upset, I…
a. do what she needs me to do (let her cry, bring her cookies, give her a hug, whatever I know works for her)
b. am always afraid I’m going to say something stupid
c. agree with whatever she says so she won’t get upset at me
d. give her advice as soon as I get what she’s talking about (or she’ll go on for days)
6. If somebody’s being mean to my friend, I…
a. stand up for her
b. tell her I would never be mean to her
c. be extra careful not to be mean to her myself
d. take care of it for her because she’s kind of a wimp when it comes to stuff like that
7. If something way cool happens to me, I…
a. can’t wait to tell my friend, because it’s even cooler when she squeals with me
b. wonder if my friend is going to think it’s as cool as I do
c. try not to make it sound as cool as it is so my friend doesn’t get jealous that it didn’t happen to her
d. tell my friend right away because she’s always trying to be cooler than me (and I hate that)
8. If my friend tells me a secret and I promise not to tell, I…
a. keep it to myself because she trusts me
b. only tell people I trust who I want to be friends with too
c. don’t tell anybody because if I did and she found out, she would totally hate me forever
d. only tell other people if she does something that makes me mad
9. When my friend does something, well, lame, I …
a. laugh with her so she doesn’t feel stupid
b. wait to see how she feels about it and then do the same (laugh, cry, hide my head in a bag)
c. pretend I didn’t notice so she doesn’t take her embarrassment out on me
d. laugh my head off because she’s such a klutz all the time
10. I think my friend will always be there…
a. because we treat each other super well
b. if I can be as cool as she is
c. if she doesn’t get mad at me
d. because she knows she needs me
Add it Up!
To understand what your answers mean, copy down the answer grid below on another sheet of paper. Then write the letter for the answer you gave to each of the questions next to the number. (You’ll notice that the numbers are not in order).
Honesty Respect Support
______1 ______4 ______5
______2 ______8 ______6
Your A answers tell you that you’re the kind of friend that every girl wants in the areas of honesty, respect, support, caring, and trust. You basically know how to be a great pal when it comes to those things. Now look at your b, c, and d answers, because those are your challenges for being a best friend in every way.
Your B answers show you the areas that you tend to let your friend make the decisions about your friendship. It’s good to take other people’s feelings into consideration, but you need to be your true self as well. Work on feeling more confident about being honest, confronting problems, and just relaxing and being authentic with your girlfriends. You’ll find out that you are SO worth being friends with.
Your c answers answers help you see the ways that you are somewhat afraid of your friend. Will she be mad at you? Will she think you are stupid? Will she get jealous? Will she dump you? In a real friendship, both girls are equal. Maybe you need to work on those things with your friend—or look for other friends who don’t expect you to tiptoe around them.
Your D answers are in the areas that you really don’t have respect for your friend and may be hurting her without even knowing it. No friend gets to be the boss of the other, or the friendship will fall apart—and that’s not usually pretty. You need to work to find a way to be your strong, confident, go-getter self without knocking your buds down in the process. Once you do, your friendships will rock!
Did you learn anything new about yourself or your friendships?